Brian: This is a terrible implement, forged in hell, that blasts 1100° air on paint you need to strip. It looks like a hair dryer, but would melt the scalp of any sitcom character who made that mistake.
Shoals: I can’t decide if it sounds like something out of Kirby-era Marvel Comics, a prop from Criminal Minds or a highly collectible Baton Rouge funk record. But this made me really jealous when we first started talking about this stuff on the phone. It also couldn’t be further from my needs at the moment. I can’t imagine needing that kind of weapon with a baby around (nor can I see needing a geriatric funk band, for that matter). But we never discussed the actual temperature. I’m dumbfounded. Do things even get that hot on the Earth’s surface?
Brian: It’s a Venus heat. It’s indescribable. And we don’t have air conditioning yet, so the room quickly warms up to, I’m guessing, around 700°. But paint is basically tank armor. It’s part of the painted thing’s essence. Getting it off requires temperatures that actually become philosophical. Fortunately, this thing and I have worked out a Frodo/Gollum relationship: I know that it could kill me at any moment, but I need it to help me eliminate the dark power that threatens to destroy my world (unsightly wall coloring).
Baby v. House: Which Comes With The Better Stuff?
by Bethlehem Shoals and Brian Philips for The Awl, 8.2.2011
